Earlier this summer, I was on a hunt for new glasses. The ones I bought at the start of this year were not serving me.
They were too heavy (why did I choose metal frames?), dented my nose, snagged my sweaters, and pulled out a few strands of my hair on a daily basis.
I decided to invest in a new pair of frames at Warby Parker. Most cost only $95 including prescription lenses (highly recommend them!).
But the thing was, I couldn’t find one I liked. I went three times to the store, and nothing jumped out.
Desperate for a new pair, I finally chose one that the store associate recommended. They were square-ish, and were brown and blue in colour.
I honestly didn’t love them, but I thought perhaps I was too attached to my original frames that I had for 8 years. With a 30 day 100% money back guarantee, if I didn’t get used to them, I could always return them.
Everyone loved my new frames – including my coworkers, my parents, and my acupuncturist!
“They’re so much better than your other ones!” my mom exclaimed.
(I mean, that really didn’t say much though! Ha!).
It felt good to get some positive feedback, but every time I looked in the mirror, my heart sank.
I just didn’t love them.
Despite that, I actually considered keeping them because other people liked them on me.
Yes, I considered ignoring my own feelings for other people’s.
It sounds obvious and ridiculous when we shine a light on it.
But how often do we override our own feelings?
One day, while hanging with a friend, I asked what she thought of my frames, and her response was a breath of fresh air.
Friend: “Well, what are you going for?”
Me: “I want my frames to be cheerful, so I look happy and bright. I want them to exude my personality!”
Friend: “Hmm…yeah….if that’s what you’re going for, those aren’t the frames.”
HALLELUJAH! THANK YOU.
That’s all I wanted to hear. It dawned on me that I kept asking for feedback because I was needing to be seen.
Sometimes, all we really want is to hear our own feelings reflected back to us.
To feel SEEN. HEARD. VALIDATED.
My mentor once shared – “As humans, we can’t really see our own soul. We need each other to reflect back to us, so we can feel seen and validated”.
At that moment, I felt exactly that: SEEN.
I went back to Warby Parker shortly after, and was adamant on finding the right frames for me.
After spending about another hour in the store, I FINALLY landed on a pair that I couldn’t help but smile when I wore them.
SOLD! I never looked back.
(As a side note, if you’re ever shopping for glasses, it’s really helpful to see how the frames look on you by taking a selfie wearing the frames you’re considering. Otherwise, without the prescription lenses, it can be hard to see the glasses on yourself. It took me many visits to Warby to figure that out :P)
What I noticed afterwards, was that I no longer felt the need to ask anyone how they liked my glasses.
The fact that I liked them was enough.
And, I got even more compliments than the other ones.
Something about that experience shifted me.
As corny as it sounds, my new frames gave me a different energy and outlook on life. Perhaps it was because the experience coincided around my birthday.
But I’ve been feeling the shift that it’s time to do things differently.
To fully and honestly show up imperfectly as I am, rather than to hide and be comfortable hiding.
Toss the polished look, and just show up.
Does this strike a chord?
I know that I’ve been going through some major transitions, and feeling the pull to be more connected, more centered, and be in more “real” relationships with others. Especially with other women.
If that all resonates, you’re in the right place. I’ve been ‘heart-storming’, and getting really clear on how I want to serve. I can’t wait to unveil more with you
With that said, please keep your eyes peeled in your inbox this week.
I have something fun and special to offer you!
To being seen,
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